I saw something written about jealousy by Phil Laut a few years ago. He described jealousy as a present fear of a future loss. He also said that it usually involves seeing someone else have the fun that you’re not willing to allow yourself. This last part really struck me. Erica Jong also said that ‘jealousy is the fun you think they had’. Whether it’s jealousy we feel in a romantic relationship, or envy towards other people in general, it seems this can apply. When we’re so busy focusing on someone else and what they’re doing, we’re missing out on …Continue reading»
An invitation for when you’re feeling fearful
Sometimes we get so caught up in our thinking, in our worries, in things we’re scared of and in trying to control the outcome of anything we’re worried about, that we don’t spend much time thinking about the things we do want. When we’re caught up in insecure or fearful thinking about anything, it takes most of our attention. When we’re really worried or fearful we go into fight or flight and our bodies pump out stress hormones, making us feel as if there is even more to be scared of. In this state we’re in survival mode and we …Continue reading»
A personal share – why there is no room for insecurity
Something came to mind last week that I wanted to share. It helps to tell a bit of the story behind some of my updated offerings, the clearer focus for this blog, and my work going forward. I remembered that life is a gift. Bear with me! I know this is something we all know. But it comes in and out of our awareness at different times, doesn’t it? Usually if we lose someone close to us, or if we or somebody we love has a health scare, it becomes obvious and we see it more. But at other times …Continue reading»
What’s already going well?
Hello, and a very happy new year. I hope you had a great break over Christmas. I’m happy to be back and for my first post of 2019, I just wanted to invite you to pause and notice what’s going well in your life. I see the tendency in myself and others at the start of a new year to think about any changes we might want to make, and any intentions we’d like to set. It’s the perfect time to do this. The blank slate of a new year can be a great time for a fresh start on …Continue reading»
Taking exquisite care of yourself – because you’re worth it!
It’s such a busy time of year that we can forget about tending to ourselves altogether. But what would it look like if you did it differently this year, and decided to take exquisite care of yourself? It’s something we all mean to do more of, isn’t it? Self-care, relaxation, putting ourselves first, making time for and pampering ourselves. Sometimes we do this as a treat or a reward for something, once we get to the end of whatever else we’re doing. But it’s often out of the ordinary rather than a daily way of life. This is totally understandable …Continue reading»
Quietening your mind and knowing what to listen to instead
We can all suffer with very busy minds, and with constant mind chatter that feels less than helpful. Our thinking can feel very real and compelling at times. It can make us believe that something is very wrong, with us or our circumstances. We can get caught up in our thinking, and feel like we’re spinning with no escape. Things can feel bleak and hopeless at times, and maddening at others. We may find that we then get frustrated with ourselves for thinking in a particular way, and for not being more positive and grateful. We can hate ourselves for …Continue reading»
A worry holiday
Hello, I hope you’ve had a great summer and a chance for some downtime. I’ve had a busy period with the end of my Psychology Masters – more from that to come. But I’ve also been grateful to have some time to do nothing, a chance to reflect on the last couple of years, and to feel into what comes next. I’m working on some new offerings and a new direction for the blog which I’m really excited about sharing over the coming months. But for now I just wanted to share a small but potent experiment with you, courtesy …Continue reading»
Love can never leave you
I’ve been thinking a lot about my Nan lately. She died when I was 9. We used to spend a lot of time together, and although I didn’t understand it properly at the time it was a big loss for me, and for the rest of my family. She was relatively young, and it was unexpected. Her death had a big impact on all of us. I wished I had got to know her more, as I got older, and that we could have spent more time together. But I do remember the special feeling I had when we were …Continue reading»
Don’t wait to be happy
How often do we wait to be happy? How often do we think that all will be well once this or that is sorted? How often do we get caught up in striving for the next thing, or in reaching a certain benchmark, before we can relax or enjoy ourselves? The truth is there will always be something to worry about. There will always be things that don’t seem ideal, or something else to attain. Which may seem depressing, but actually accepting this can provide us with a great deal of freedom. We can decide to be happy anyway. Whilst …Continue reading»
Building a house
I’m just coming to the end of a very big project: building my own house. Well, not with my own bare hands, but having a house built 🙂 This isn’t something I ever imagined myself doing, and it’s been quite the adventure. It took eighteen months to get the planning and to find a builder who could work within my budget, and the last nine months to actually have the house built. I’m just coming into the final couple of weeks now. It’s been quite incredible to see it all come to fruition, and to be starting a new chapter. I’ve …Continue reading»
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