Comparison is the thief of joy – Theodore Roosevelt. Our egos love to compare. They love to see how we’re doing in relation to others. It gives us some sort of yardstick to measure ourselves against. If we compare ourselves favourably, and perceive that we’re doing well compared to others, we feel superior and good about ourselves. If we compare ourselves negatively, we feel inferior, lacking and less than good about ourselves. Our egos are constantly playing this game, we are constantly winning and losing, which is why things can feel so up and down. But what if we no …Continue reading»
Beauty from the inside out and ageing
Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself – Coco Chanel. We seem to be a culture that is obsessed with how we look, and with holding onto youth. We often derive self-esteem from our looks and how others perceive us. It’s common for us to obsess about our physical appearance in some way. But this is always going to be a losing battle. Even when great beauty is achieved on the outside, there can be an emptiness on the inside. So clearly striving only for this outer perfection is missing the point. What if we could see it …Continue reading»
When in doubt come back to your centre
We all have a centre within us. Whenever we feel lost or unsure of something we can lose contact with that centre. We become externally focussed and can end up drifting around and feeling like we’re being pulled from pillar to post, or in several different directions. We can feel scattered, panicky or adrift in the mental plane. But the heart can be a great resting place for the mind. Whenever we feel lost or unsure of anything we can drop down from our heads into our hearts. We can ground and centre. This can be one of the most …Continue reading»
Filling yourself up
We need to focus our energies on filling ourselves up, from the inside. So often we look to other people or other things to fill us up or to make us happy; to make things better, to take care of things, or to make us feel a certain way. But this is such a losing game, because we can’t control other people or the things outside ourselves. And so at some level we’ll always be fearful, because those things could be taken away. We aren’t the source of the things we want in this case, which understandably makes us feel …Continue reading»
What makes you unique?
Whilst I was away in The Big Apple I got to thinking about what makes each of us unique, and how easy it can be to forget. It’s so good to surround ourselves with people who see our light. Who appreciate us for what we are and all that we bring, because sometimes we forget. We stop valuing ourselves. We get knocked down, life throws us curveballs or we start to forget what makes us special. What others may love and appreciate about us. Things we do naturally that perhaps we don’t even notice. But the truth is we all …Continue reading»
Unconditional love
Too often we place conditions on the love we have for others. We try to get love, believing we don’t have enough already. We look for other people or things to make us feel a certain way, when we haven’t been able to do that for ourselves. It sometimes doesn’t even occur to us that we could do it for ourselves. Real love is about giving and not getting. It’s about what we can give and what we can share, with no conditions attached. Real love frees – both you and the other person. We need to learn how to …Continue reading»
Learning to love your shadow
We can all get triggered and feel ashamed at times. We can all wish we didn’t react in certain ways. But these situations hold so much wisdom for us, if only we’ll look more closely. We all have a shadow side. We all have darkness within us. And the more we try to push it down, the more it tries to fight its way to the surface. If we can look squarely at it instead, embracing it as a valuable part of who we are and as nothing to be ashamed of, we’ll have a much smoother ride. It’s natural …Continue reading»