Sometimes we have to go through the really hard stuff, to get to the good stuff. Sometimes when we’re going through the hard stuff, it can be hard to see the wood for the trees. We wonder if it’ll ever be worth it. We question ourselves and what we’re doing. We can be full of doubts and uncertainty. Things can feel shaky and unsettling. But if we can persist, if we can trust and if we can stay the course, more often than not there will be treasure on the other side. Treasure that will seem all the sweeter, because …Continue reading»
Self-compassion
Are you concentrating on what you like and love about yourself, or on what you don’t like? Are you focusing on your flaws and beating yourself up? Are you being critical and harsh with yourself? When we’re unkind in this way we can become low and depressed, and we can start to feel worthless. We look for anything and anyone to make that feel better. When what we’re really looking for is gentleness, understanding and compassion. We can be so harsh with ourselves, when we could be kind. We can be much, much harsher with ourselves than we would be …Continue reading»
Your internal navigation system
It’s so easy to go around and round in circles when we look outside ourselves for answers. We can spend hours searching online, consulting the opinions of various friends or loved ones, looking for advice or reassurance, and yet end up more confused than ever. Everybody else will give you an opinion that’s based on their own individual life experience. Everybody else will be looking through their own lens, with their own hopes and fears. Of course at times we’ll want to ask for the opinion of someone we value or respect. We’ll really appreciate their wisdom, or take on …Continue reading»
Life is happening now
Life is short. Life is precious. Life is here for the taking. It could be over for any one of us, at any time. Which can be a morbid thought, but also an opportunity to make sure we’re really awake. Life is happening now. So we have to live now. We can be so busy making plans and trying to get somewhere, that we forget to live in the moment. We take things so seriously, and forget to laugh. We hesitate to grab opportunities that come our way, with both hands. We forget to be as enthusiastic, or grateful as …Continue reading»
Boundaries and speaking your truth
Boundaries are about strength and self-respect. Boundaries help us to communicate what we want, and to stand up for ourselves. Boundaries help us to be honest with others, and to lead the lives we most want to lead. Boundaries mean being able to state things clearly, and being able to respond rather than react. Boundaries mean we can avoid resentment, and the feeling that anyone is trampling all over us. We can be lovingly firm, and clear. Boundaries can be drawn whenever we feel a sense of intrusion, injustice or anger rising. Our boundaries tell the world what we will and …Continue reading»
Bring your own sunshine
We have been enjoying the start of some lovely spring weather here in the UK, and I notice how much better I feel when the sun is shining. How everything around me feels more positive and full of potential, and I see I’m not alone in that. Which got me thinking about how we can generate our own inner sunshine, when perhaps the weather isn’t so good – which to be fair in England it often isn’t! What is it about the sunshine that feels so good? And how can we fill ourselves up with it from the inside? How …Continue reading»
If it isn’t fun, don’t do it
Back in December I was chatting to a friend about joy. Something that these days I always try to keep at the forefront of my mind, but that after a busy couple of weeks had slipped out of my awareness. Joy, oh yes joy! My body felt relieved at the prospect. And I was reminded of something else I often think to: ‘If it isn’t fun, don’t do it!’ So I invite you to consider whether the things that you’re doing feel like fun. If it isn’t fun, don’t do it! Or if you can’t get out of it, how …Continue reading»
Beauty from the inside out and ageing
Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself – Coco Chanel. We seem to be a culture that is obsessed with how we look, and with holding onto youth. We often derive self-esteem from our looks and how others perceive us. It’s common for us to obsess about our physical appearance in some way. But this is always going to be a losing battle. Even when great beauty is achieved on the outside, there can be an emptiness on the inside. So clearly striving only for this outer perfection is missing the point. What if we could see it …Continue reading»
Staying connected to yourself
I started a Masters in Psychology recently and I’m hoping I’ll have plenty more to share about this in future blog posts. Meanwhile life is busier than it’s been for a while and I’m settling into a new routine. It’s been brilliant to have a new focus, to meet new people and to broaden my horizons. That energy of something new. Inspiration. Possibility. Joy. Something sparked. An energy of openness and excitement. Optimism. Contentment. It’s also got me thinking about everything I’ve learnt over the last 9 years and how to bring that in to what I’m doing now. I’ve …Continue reading»
Stinking thinking and gratitude
Our experience of life comes back to how grateful we are. Are you actually present in your life, enough to enjoy it right now? We can get so caught up in striving for things we want to achieve or move towards. Or we think we’ll be happy once we’ve got x, y or z. If only a certain thing would happen we’d be ok. If only a certain thing hadn’t happened we’d be ok. We can waste years living with this kind of thinking. But our thinking is a choice. We will always have a tendency to focus on the …Continue reading»