The more ‘you’ that you become and can express, the more you’ll attract the right people.
We all want to fit in and please others. We all want to belong and to feel accepted and seen; we’re wired for it.
But sometimes the more we become who we really are, the less we seem to fit in. Or the less we seem to fit in around certain people or in certain situations.
We can feel as if we have to bend or be different to fit in with the pack; to pretend we like things that we don’t or to act in a different way.
But we betray ourselves when we do this. We abandon our true selves, our true likes and dislikes; and we send a clear signal that the way we really are is not ok or not good enough.
But the way we really are is more than ok. It’s more than enough. We were made this way for a reason. We are all different and there are no extra people. We are cheating ourselves and the world around us by not being who we really are.
We fear being judged, criticised or excluded. But in truth we’re always going to be judged anyway, so we may as well be judged for who we really are!
It can be lonely and isolating when we feel that we’re different, that we don’t fit in or that other people don’t really know or understand us. But the more we can dare to show ourselves, our real selves, the more we we’ll be rewarded for it. The more that our tribe will recognise us, and the less time and energy we’ll need to invest in situations that drain or diminish us.
The right people will love you for exactly who you are, even if you’re a little different to the rest of the pack – especially then. They won’t need you to be any different. And it starts with you.
If you don’t need yourself to be any different, if you can lovingly accept your quirks and what makes your heart sing, you’ll be well on the way to living as your real self and being truly alive in the world.
This authenticity is magnetic and the right people will flock to you.
Stand up for yourself. Be honest about what you do and don’t like, even if it’s unusual. Be honest about what you need, even if it’s different to what other people seem to need. Let go of the pressure to fit in and prioritise being true to yourself instead.
Speaking your truth may be uncomfortable at times but it can also be freeing beyond belief. You no longer have to pretend, you no longer have to justify yourself. You can be unabashedly you. The right people will take it – grab it even, and the rest will leave it. Perfect. It’s a built in filter and screening process. So that you’re spending your time and your energy on the right things.
The more you open up and share, the more you’ll discover others who are very much like you. You’ll realise it’s ok to be different and that you’re not alone. You’ll realise you fit right in, maybe just in a different way or in a different place to where you started.
You’ll be home. Within yourself, and with the perfect people around you.
By being who you really are without apology, you give others permission to do the same.