Hello friend, I’m aware that there’s been a larger gap than usual in me putting something out on the blog so I hope this finds you well. It’s nice to be in touch. It’s been a busy time for me with lots of projects and work within universities, and I’ve also spent a lot of time learning more from many of the practitioners I met at the conference back in April. What’s been striking me is the simplicity behind the understanding that many of these Psychologists share. It’s so easy to become focused on our personalities, our reactions to things …Continue reading»
Why it’s all about resilience
I used to do everything I could not to feel bad anymore. It was like I was looking for some sort of perfect mental health and a life where I would only have positive experiences. Of course no human being only has positive experiences but I didn’t want to suffer even if I had difficult experiences. I wanted to be able to handle it all. I didn’t want to feel insecure anymore. I didn’t want to feel anxious or low anymore. I was chasing the perfect experience. I wanted to be able to manage my thoughts and I wanted to …Continue reading»
What did you love to do back then?
What did you love to do as a child? What were you naturally drawn to? What were you good at? What could you spend hours doing without getting bored, when left to your own devices? What really brought you joy? Was there any theme? Or particular way of doing things that may have been different to how other people did them? Did you combine anything? It’s really great to think about this and to be reminded of what we loved before we started trying to fit in, or doing anything we thought we should. Before we or anybody else could …Continue reading»
Your top 10
What appears in your top 10? Of your personal inadequacies, insecurities or thoughts about other people and how they treat you. Some common examples include: I’m not good enough I’m not as good as her/them I’m not attractive enough I’m not clever enough I’m not confident enough I’m too old It’s too late for me I’m too fat I’m too thin I’m too insecure I’m too sensitive There’s something wrong with me They’re judging me They’re making a fool of me You can’t trust anyone I’m such an idiot I’m so stupid I can’t cope with this This always happens …Continue reading»
What would you do if you didn’t need to do anything at all?
I’ve been wondering more and more, and working with clients more and more, around what they would do if they didn’t need to do anything at all. As if their every need was already met and taken care of. So often we grow up to believe that our value is dictated by what we do, and our self-worth is tied up in how much we achieve. But once we come to realise that every single one of us is valuable simply because we exist, things start to look quite different. Everyone generally thinks that a baby is valuable, yet they …Continue reading»
A personal share – why there is no room for insecurity
Something came to mind last week that I wanted to share. It helps to tell a bit of the story behind some of my updated offerings, the clearer focus for this blog, and my work going forward. I remembered that life is a gift. Bear with me! I know this is something we all know. But it comes in and out of our awareness at different times, doesn’t it? Usually if we lose someone close to us, or if we or somebody we love has a health scare, it becomes obvious and we see it more. But at other times …Continue reading»
Taking exquisite care of yourself – because you’re worth it!
It’s such a busy time of year that we can forget about tending to ourselves altogether. But what would it look like if you did it differently this year, and decided to take exquisite care of yourself? It’s something we all mean to do more of, isn’t it? Self-care, relaxation, putting ourselves first, making time for and pampering ourselves. Sometimes we do this as a treat or a reward for something, once we get to the end of whatever else we’re doing. But it’s often out of the ordinary rather than a daily way of life. This is totally understandable …Continue reading»
Your best self
What helps you be your best self? And what takes you further away from it? Who is your best self? What are they like? Can you describe them? Can you feel how good it feels to be them? We all have many positive qualities and attributes. Sometimes these are hard to see for ourselves, but we may get them reflected back from others. We naturally focus on our flaws and shortcomings, rather than on the things that are good about us. Nobody wants to be arrogant or big headed, and nobody wants to be seen as full of themselves. So …Continue reading»
In my final post of the year, I’d love to talk about bravery. Bravery means different things to different people. What does it mean to you? Bravery can mean putting ourselves out there, even when we feel really unsure or shaky. It can mean speaking up even when we’re not sure anyone else will agree, or understand. It can mean asking for help or support, when there are no guarantees of being met in that request. It can mean showing the most vulnerable parts of ourselves, and risking rejection or ridicule. It can mean battling through something major, something seen …Continue reading»
Are you concentrating on what you like and love about yourself, or on what you don’t like? Are you focusing on your flaws and beating yourself up? Are you being critical and harsh with yourself? When we’re unkind in this way we can become low and depressed, and we can start to feel worthless. We look for anything and anyone to make that feel better. When what we’re really looking for is gentleness, understanding and compassion. We can be so harsh with ourselves, when we could be kind. We can be much, much harsher with ourselves than we would be …Continue reading»