I was having a conversation in a coaching session last month, which the other person is happy for me to share here. They were talking about a lack of confidence, and wanting and needing love and attention from their partner. How they wanted their partner to recognise and voice all of the special things they saw in them, and to be clear that they would continue choosing them, even if other women were really beautiful or attractive in other ways. Which got us thinking about how she could give these things to herself. About how she could affirm herself, and …Continue reading»
Your internal navigation system
It’s so easy to go around and round in circles when we look outside ourselves for answers. We can spend hours searching online, consulting the opinions of various friends or loved ones, looking for advice or reassurance, and yet end up more confused than ever. Everybody else will give you an opinion that’s based on their own individual life experience. Everybody else will be looking through their own lens, with their own hopes and fears. Of course at times we’ll want to ask for the opinion of someone we value or respect. We’ll really appreciate their wisdom, or take on …Continue reading»
Taking your power back, and a birthday request
Today is my birthday, and I’m happy to be in the sun celebrating with loved ones. Birthdays are a great time to think about how far we’ve come in the last year, what we’ve achieved, what we’ve worked through or overcome, and how we want to celebrate. They’re a good time to take stock, and check that we’re on track with what feels most true to us, and to check that we’re putting our energies into the right things. We can do this at any time of course. I’m happy to be turning 36 today. 35 felt like a bit …Continue reading»
Self-esteem
I’ve been been working on some projects around self-esteem for my Psychology Masters, along with some students in my work. It’s something I’ve been passionate about for a while, but it’s got me thinking about the importance of self-esteem, where it comes from, and what we can do to improve it. Why do we even need self-esteem? Why does it matter? Well it’s proven to be linked to depression and anxiety. We know it can be protective against mental health issues, and it underpins just about everything we do. We all know how much better we feel in general when we feel …Continue reading»
Boundaries and speaking your truth
Boundaries are about strength and self-respect. Boundaries help us to communicate what we want, and to stand up for ourselves. Boundaries help us to be honest with others, and to lead the lives we most want to lead. Boundaries mean being able to state things clearly, and being able to respond rather than react. Boundaries mean we can avoid resentment, and the feeling that anyone is trampling all over us. We can be lovingly firm, and clear. Boundaries can be drawn whenever we feel a sense of intrusion, injustice or anger rising. Our boundaries tell the world what we will and …Continue reading»
Celebrating the woman you are
Happy International Women’s Day! This is a great opportunity to celebrate all of the women that we love and admire. It’s a great chance to be thankful for them and for ourselves, and for the lives that we’ve got. Which women do you love and admire? And why? Tell them. Which women inspire you? What is it about them? How can you channel more of that, and bring more of it into your own life? Seeing them rock it shows that it’s possible for you too. And how can you celebrate yourself more? What is great about you, that perhaps you …Continue reading»
How do you want to be treated?
Hello, and wishing you a very happy new year 🙂 It’s a time when many of us will want to be embracing a fresh slate, and making resolutions. For me what it really comes down to is how we most want to feel, and what we’d like to be experiencing more of. This is really good news because the power is within each of us to feel more of whatever it is we want to feel. I’d like my first post of 2017 to be about treating ourselves the way we’d ideally like others to treat us, and consequently feeling …Continue reading»
Comparison is the thief of joy
Comparison is the thief of joy – Theodore Roosevelt. Our egos love to compare. They love to see how we’re doing in relation to others. It gives us some sort of yardstick to measure ourselves against. If we compare ourselves favourably, and perceive that we’re doing well compared to others, we feel superior and good about ourselves. If we compare ourselves negatively, we feel inferior, lacking and less than good about ourselves. Our egos are constantly playing this game, we are constantly winning and losing, which is why things can feel so up and down. But what if we no …Continue reading»
Beauty from the inside out and ageing
Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself – Coco Chanel. We seem to be a culture that is obsessed with how we look, and with holding onto youth. We often derive self-esteem from our looks and how others perceive us. It’s common for us to obsess about our physical appearance in some way. But this is always going to be a losing battle. Even when great beauty is achieved on the outside, there can be an emptiness on the inside. So clearly striving only for this outer perfection is missing the point. What if we could see it …Continue reading»
When in doubt come back to your centre
We all have a centre within us. Whenever we feel lost or unsure of something we can lose contact with that centre. We become externally focussed and can end up drifting around and feeling like we’re being pulled from pillar to post, or in several different directions. We can feel scattered, panicky or adrift in the mental plane. But the heart can be a great resting place for the mind. Whenever we feel lost or unsure of anything we can drop down from our heads into our hearts. We can ground and centre. This can be one of the most …Continue reading»