Hello friend, I’m aware that there’s been a larger gap than usual in me putting something out on the blog so I hope this finds you well. It’s nice to be in touch. It’s been a busy time for me with lots of projects and work within universities, and I’ve also spent a lot of time learning more from many of the practitioners I met at the conference back in April. What’s been striking me is the simplicity behind the understanding that many of these Psychologists share. It’s so easy to become focused on our personalities, our reactions to things …Continue reading»
Why it’s all about resilience
I used to do everything I could not to feel bad anymore. It was like I was looking for some sort of perfect mental health and a life where I would only have positive experiences. Of course no human being only has positive experiences but I didn’t want to suffer even if I had difficult experiences. I wanted to be able to handle it all. I didn’t want to feel insecure anymore. I didn’t want to feel anxious or low anymore. I was chasing the perfect experience. I wanted to be able to manage my thoughts and I wanted to …Continue reading»
Passing storms
I wanted to write something this morning about passing storms and hope. When we’re feeling bad it can often feel like there isn’t hope. Our problems appear very fixed and solid and it can feel like we don’t have the energy or wherewithal to overcome them. We start drowning in the sea of our fear, worries, anger or hopelessness. We start to despair and think that we can’t cope with whatever we think it is that we need to deal with. This of course makes us feel even worse, and we judge ourselves for it. It can be easy for …Continue reading»
Looking with fresh eyes
How many things do we seem to struggle with over and over again? It happens for all of us. We all have our grooves and things we get stuck in. It’s part of being human, and it’s part of our human psychology to get caught up in particular patterns of thinking. What we don’t always recognize is that it’s our thinking we’re experiencing over and over again. It seems very real that it’s a scenario out there that keeps happening over and over again. We think ‘Oh no, not this again. Why does this keep happening to me?’ And it …Continue reading»
Go beyond conditions, and fall into love
Several years ago, I had to have all of my wisdom teeth removed, and so was given a general anaesthetic. After waking up I spent an hour or so in a totally blissed out feeling, thanks to the strong pain killers I’d been given. I can only describe it as being in the love state. I felt pure love for everything and everyone around me. I was holding the recovery nurse’s hand telling her what a difference she made, and genuinely feeling like I loved her! Which seems funny and makes me laugh when I look back. I also sounded …Continue reading»
Your top 10
What appears in your top 10? Of your personal inadequacies, insecurities or thoughts about other people and how they treat you. Some common examples include: I’m not good enough I’m not as good as her/them I’m not attractive enough I’m not clever enough I’m not confident enough I’m too old It’s too late for me I’m too fat I’m too thin I’m too insecure I’m too sensitive There’s something wrong with me They’re judging me They’re making a fool of me You can’t trust anyone I’m such an idiot I’m so stupid I can’t cope with this This always happens …Continue reading»
The surprising link between jealousy and fun
I saw something written about jealousy by Phil Laut a few years ago. He described jealousy as a present fear of a future loss. He also said that it usually involves seeing someone else have the fun that you’re not willing to allow yourself. This last part really struck me. Erica Jong also said that ‘jealousy is the fun you think they had’. Whether it’s jealousy we feel in a romantic relationship, or envy towards other people in general, it seems this can apply. When we’re so busy focusing on someone else and what they’re doing, we’re missing out on …Continue reading»
An invitation for when you’re feeling fearful
Sometimes we get so caught up in our thinking, in our worries, in things we’re scared of and in trying to control the outcome of anything we’re worried about, that we don’t spend much time thinking about the things we do want. When we’re caught up in insecure or fearful thinking about anything, it takes most of our attention. When we’re really worried or fearful we go into fight or flight and our bodies pump out stress hormones, making us feel as if there is even more to be scared of. In this state we’re in survival mode and we …Continue reading»
A personal share – why there is no room for insecurity
Something came to mind last week that I wanted to share. It helps to tell a bit of the story behind some of my updated offerings, the clearer focus for this blog, and my work going forward. I remembered that life is a gift. Bear with me! I know this is something we all know. But it comes in and out of our awareness at different times, doesn’t it? Usually if we lose someone close to us, or if we or somebody we love has a health scare, it becomes obvious and we see it more. But at other times …Continue reading»
Quietening your mind and knowing what to listen to instead
We can all suffer with very busy minds, and with constant mind chatter that feels less than helpful. Our thinking can feel very real and compelling at times. It can make us believe that something is very wrong, with us or our circumstances. We can get caught up in our thinking, and feel like we’re spinning with no escape. Things can feel bleak and hopeless at times, and maddening at others. We may find that we then get frustrated with ourselves for thinking in a particular way, and for not being more positive and grateful. We can hate ourselves for …Continue reading»