Hello, I hope you’ve had a great summer and a chance for some downtime. I’ve had a busy period with the end of my Psychology Masters – more from that to come. But I’ve also been grateful to have some time to do nothing, a chance to reflect on the last couple of years, and to feel into what comes next. I’m working on some new offerings and a new direction for the blog which I’m really excited about sharing over the coming months. But for now I just wanted to share a small but potent experiment with you, courtesy …Continue reading»
Love can never leave you
I’ve been thinking a lot about my Nan lately. She died when I was 9. We used to spend a lot of time together, and although I didn’t understand it properly at the time it was a big loss for me, and for the rest of my family. She was relatively young, and it was unexpected. Her death had a big impact on all of us. I wished I had got to know her more, as I got older, and that we could have spent more time together. But I do remember the special feeling I had when we were …Continue reading»
Your best self
What helps you be your best self? And what takes you further away from it? Who is your best self? What are they like? Can you describe them? Can you feel how good it feels to be them? We all have many positive qualities and attributes. Sometimes these are hard to see for ourselves, but we may get them reflected back from others. We naturally focus on our flaws and shortcomings, rather than on the things that are good about us. Nobody wants to be arrogant or big headed, and nobody wants to be seen as full of themselves. So …Continue reading»
Bravery
In my final post of the year, I’d love to talk about bravery. Bravery means different things to different people. What does it mean to you? Bravery can mean putting ourselves out there, even when we feel really unsure or shaky. It can mean speaking up even when we’re not sure anyone else will agree, or understand. It can mean asking for help or support, when there are no guarantees of being met in that request. It can mean showing the most vulnerable parts of ourselves, and risking rejection or ridicule. It can mean battling through something major, something seen …Continue reading»
Self-compassion
Are you concentrating on what you like and love about yourself, or on what you don’t like? Are you focusing on your flaws and beating yourself up? Are you being critical and harsh with yourself? When we’re unkind in this way we can become low and depressed, and we can start to feel worthless. We look for anything and anyone to make that feel better. When what we’re really looking for is gentleness, understanding and compassion. We can be so harsh with ourselves, when we could be kind. We can be much, much harsher with ourselves than we would be …Continue reading»
Dating yourself
I was having a conversation in a coaching session last month, which the other person is happy for me to share here. They were talking about a lack of confidence, and wanting and needing love and attention from their partner. How they wanted their partner to recognise and voice all of the special things they saw in them, and to be clear that they would continue choosing them, even if other women were really beautiful or attractive in other ways. Which got us thinking about how she could give these things to herself. About how she could affirm herself, and …Continue reading»
Taking your power back, and a birthday request
Today is my birthday, and I’m happy to be in the sun celebrating with loved ones. Birthdays are a great time to think about how far we’ve come in the last year, what we’ve achieved, what we’ve worked through or overcome, and how we want to celebrate. They’re a good time to take stock, and check that we’re on track with what feels most true to us, and to check that we’re putting our energies into the right things. We can do this at any time of course. I’m happy to be turning 36 today. 35 felt like a bit …Continue reading»
Self-esteem
I’ve been been working on some projects around self-esteem for my Psychology Masters, along with some students in my work. It’s something I’ve been passionate about for a while, but it’s got me thinking about the importance of self-esteem, where it comes from, and what we can do to improve it. Why do we even need self-esteem? Why does it matter? Well it’s proven to be linked to depression and anxiety. We know it can be protective against mental health issues, and it underpins just about everything we do. We all know how much better we feel in general when we feel …Continue reading»
Boundaries and speaking your truth
Boundaries are about strength and self-respect. Boundaries help us to communicate what we want, and to stand up for ourselves. Boundaries help us to be honest with others, and to lead the lives we most want to lead. Boundaries mean being able to state things clearly, and being able to respond rather than react. Boundaries mean we can avoid resentment, and the feeling that anyone is trampling all over us. We can be lovingly firm, and clear. Boundaries can be drawn whenever we feel a sense of intrusion, injustice or anger rising. Our boundaries tell the world what we will and …Continue reading»
How do you want to be treated?
Hello, and wishing you a very happy new year 🙂 It’s a time when many of us will want to be embracing a fresh slate, and making resolutions. For me what it really comes down to is how we most want to feel, and what we’d like to be experiencing more of. This is really good news because the power is within each of us to feel more of whatever it is we want to feel. I’d like my first post of 2017 to be about treating ourselves the way we’d ideally like others to treat us, and consequently feeling …Continue reading»