Whilst I was away in The Big Apple I got to thinking about what makes each of us unique, and how easy it can be to forget.
It’s so good to surround ourselves with people who see our light. Who appreciate us for what we are and all that we bring, because sometimes we forget.
We stop valuing ourselves. We get knocked down, life throws us curveballs or we start to forget what makes us special. What others may love and appreciate about us. Things we do naturally that perhaps we don’t even notice.
But the truth is we all have these special qualities. We are all totally unique. We all have that light within us and we all make a difference in our own way. Sometimes it just takes other people to remind us of that.
What are your special qualities?
What do people compliment you on?
What do you know you do well?
What makes you different?
What can you feel good about regardless of the validation you get from others?
It’s so easy to take the things we do easily for granted. The things we’re good at. The difference we make to other people, just by being ourselves.
So don’t forget to focus on what makes you special and unique.
Also look for what you admire most in others. This usually means you’ve got plenty of capacity for it yourself; you just might not own it fully.
It can be easy for our self-esteem to take a knock, for us to feel less than good about ourselves. So it’s all the more important that we focus on our strengths at those times. That we remember everything we’ve accomplished and everything we can be proud of. Everything we are to others. This won’t make you big headed or arrogant. It’ll just mean you’ll be more aware of your light and you can then shine it more brightly.
Where do you shine most brightly?
If you’re not sure try asking five people who know you well what they think is most special about you. Forward them this email or tell them what you notice in them if you feel shy in asking. See what patterns come up. See which things you feel most proud of. How can you turn up the brightness on these even more?
We are all so different. It was meant to be that way. So it would be a shame if we tried to be like anyone else. If we dulled ourselves down or just tried to fit in. We wouldn’t be expressing the qualities that we’ve been given, in our own special mix. Nobody else is exactly like you. Nobody else has the same combination of traits, talents or qualities. So be as you as you can be. Be unabashedly yourself, knowing that nobody can do you better.
If you struggle to remember keep a running list of compliments you receive, of nice things people say about you and good feedback you get in any area of your life. Remind yourself of these things and the difference you do make regularly. This won’t make you vain. It’ll just mean you’ll act out these positive qualities all the more, meaning everyone will benefit in the long run.
Hopefully you’ll get to a point where you’ll just know these things intrinsically. You won’t need such reminders. You’ll feel great about who you are and everything you bring, but it doesn’t hurt to have a helping hand on the way there.
Don’t deflect compliments when they come. Let them soak in. Know that the person giving them is offering you a gift. So don’t reject the gift, be grateful for it and give compliments widely yourself. We all know how good it feels. Tell those around you exactly what makes them so wonderful and why.
If you spot something you admire, say it. Share the love. It can be easy to assume that others know what makes them special and unique, because it’s so obvious to you. But maybe they don’t. Maybe it’ll make their day if you stop to tell them.
So have a love fest and set up mutual appreciation societies! Knowing that this won’t create arrogant big-heads, just love-filled humans. And don’t we all want more of that?