Hello friend, I’m aware that there’s been a larger gap than usual in me putting something out on the blog so I hope this finds you well. It’s nice to be in touch. It’s been a busy time for me with lots of projects and work within universities, and I’ve also spent a lot of time learning more from many of the practitioners I met at the conference back in April. What’s been striking me is the simplicity behind the understanding that many of these Psychologists share. It’s so easy to become focused on our personalities, our reactions to things …Continue reading»
Why it’s all about resilience
I used to do everything I could not to feel bad anymore. It was like I was looking for some sort of perfect mental health and a life where I would only have positive experiences. Of course no human being only has positive experiences but I didn’t want to suffer even if I had difficult experiences. I wanted to be able to handle it all. I didn’t want to feel insecure anymore. I didn’t want to feel anxious or low anymore. I was chasing the perfect experience. I wanted to be able to manage my thoughts and I wanted to …Continue reading»
A second chance
I feel very fortunate in my life to have been given a series of second chances. What a gift, when you think about it – a second chance. I can see that this can be applied pretty much anywhere. Anything you would like to be different – you have the opportunity to begin again right now. Every moment brings the opportunity for a fresh slate. We only carry the past with us if we choose to. It only exists now as a memory. The present moment is brand new and uncontaminated. We can use these fresh slates and second chances …Continue reading»
Passing storms
I wanted to write something this morning about passing storms and hope. When we’re feeling bad it can often feel like there isn’t hope. Our problems appear very fixed and solid and it can feel like we don’t have the energy or wherewithal to overcome them. We start drowning in the sea of our fear, worries, anger or hopelessness. We start to despair and think that we can’t cope with whatever we think it is that we need to deal with. This of course makes us feel even worse, and we judge ourselves for it. It can be easy for …Continue reading»
Looking with fresh eyes
How many things do we seem to struggle with over and over again? It happens for all of us. We all have our grooves and things we get stuck in. It’s part of being human, and it’s part of our human psychology to get caught up in particular patterns of thinking. What we don’t always recognize is that it’s our thinking we’re experiencing over and over again. It seems very real that it’s a scenario out there that keeps happening over and over again. We think ‘Oh no, not this again. Why does this keep happening to me?’ And it …Continue reading»
Go beyond conditions, and fall into love
Several years ago, I had to have all of my wisdom teeth removed, and so was given a general anaesthetic. After waking up I spent an hour or so in a totally blissed out feeling, thanks to the strong pain killers I’d been given. I can only describe it as being in the love state. I felt pure love for everything and everyone around me. I was holding the recovery nurse’s hand telling her what a difference she made, and genuinely feeling like I loved her! Which seems funny and makes me laugh when I look back. I also sounded …Continue reading»
A happiness that isn’t dependent on anything
I was lucky enough to go to a practitioner conference in California recently and it was an amazing experience. There were so many things I took away from it, which I’ll be sharing here on the blog over the coming weeks and months. But the thing I wanted to start with, because it struck me most, was the capacity we all have to be happy for no reason. Until the conference I had never come across a group of people who seemed to have such a genuine peace and joy in their lives, which came from the inside. Many of …Continue reading»
What did you love to do back then?
What did you love to do as a child? What were you naturally drawn to? What were you good at? What could you spend hours doing without getting bored, when left to your own devices? What really brought you joy? Was there any theme? Or particular way of doing things that may have been different to how other people did them? Did you combine anything? It’s really great to think about this and to be reminded of what we loved before we started trying to fit in, or doing anything we thought we should. Before we or anybody else could …Continue reading»
Your top 10
What appears in your top 10? Of your personal inadequacies, insecurities or thoughts about other people and how they treat you. Some common examples include: I’m not good enough I’m not as good as her/them I’m not attractive enough I’m not clever enough I’m not confident enough I’m too old It’s too late for me I’m too fat I’m too thin I’m too insecure I’m too sensitive There’s something wrong with me They’re judging me They’re making a fool of me You can’t trust anyone I’m such an idiot I’m so stupid I can’t cope with this This always happens …Continue reading»
What would you do if you didn’t need to do anything at all?
I’ve been wondering more and more, and working with clients more and more, around what they would do if they didn’t need to do anything at all. As if their every need was already met and taken care of. So often we grow up to believe that our value is dictated by what we do, and our self-worth is tied up in how much we achieve. But once we come to realise that every single one of us is valuable simply because we exist, things start to look quite different. Everyone generally thinks that a baby is valuable, yet they …Continue reading»
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